Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I see through liars

Physicists Unveil New Quantum Super Material That Could Revolutionize Electronics - SciTechDaily

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

What does it mean if someone asks if it’s pink?

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

Will you share your wife? Can she take both of us at the same time?

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

Satellite Pics Show How Russia Tried To Avert Ukraine Drone Strikes, But Failed - NDTV

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I gave him everything. He said he loved me. Why?

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

Target and Walmart tariff price hikes leak online from an unlikely source - Mashable

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

Do you like to wear a see-through skirt?

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

Finebaum on House settlement: NCAA dead, Olympic and women sports crushed, football wins - AL.com

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I actually pay taxes

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

Tucker Barnhart Elects Free Agency - MLB Trade Rumors

I understand how hurricane paths work

I can read

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

Michael Cole Reveals Which Match Will Main Event WWE Money In The Bank On Pre-Show - Wrestling Inc.

I don’t buy bullshit

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

Scientists Fear a Passing Star Could Fling Earth Out of the Sun's Orbit, Into the Frigid Expanse Beyond - futurism.com

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

Why can't the US government force this new deep seek to not operate in the USA for security reasons? People's personal information will be available to China like TikTok was.

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

Why does the God of the Bible condemn homosexual acts?

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I can count

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I have complete contempt for fakery

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability